Last Friday I woke at 4am with a migraine and staggered to the kitchen for a magic red pill. No sooner had I swallowed than I sensed a squelching of the slippers. Flipped on the light and realized I was standing in a small lake. I looked at the sink. Looked at the dishwasher. Et tu?!
My washing machine had already been leaking and had damaged my beautiful floor.
I sopped up the water and went back to bed.
Later that day I mustered the courage to call the plumber. I was (and am) not up for another plumbing disaster. They sent two boys out on Tuesday, and—I am not making this up—their names were Gabriel and Adam, who was evidently the sidekick. Gabriel, bless him, brought tidings of comfort and joy. The problem was not under the house, but the machines themselves.
Which is still a problem, but, you know. Not a $23,000 problem, like last time.
Fast forward to my lunch hour yesterday.
According to Sam-my-man at the local small-box appliance store, if you want a Bosch but at a more economical price point, Beko is the way to go. They are “exact copies, Bosch knockoffs.” He said this whispering: “They copied everything. Look at this basket. [*waves basket*] This, my friend, is a Bosch basket. Identical.”
I learned far more than I ever dreamed anyone would need to know about dishwashers in about seven minutes flat—Sam spoke without breathing.
“Now everyone thinks this company is French because the owners live in Paris but they’re actually Turkish which is great because there are no COVID restrictions right now so we can get the machines here no problem while now this little beauty over here [*gestures yonder*] is a gorgeous machine—if you ever watched America’s Test Kitchen you’ll be familiar—and you can tell it’s high-end by the price point. [*small dramatic pause*] But! Can’t get ’em! Haven’t seen ’em since before the pandemic but these you can get but it takes forever so I could set you up with one around February.”
People, by “more economical price point,” he meant about half the cost and available at the warehouse for pickup tomorrow.
I looked at the machine. When he paused, I quoted my dad, “You can’t beat that with a stick.”
Whispering again: “I asked them, are you really sure you want to sell them this cheap I mean this is… you can’t beat this price and they said, [*tiny pause, shrug, head tilt & raised eyebrows*] well, yeah. We do.”
But my favorite, what really sold me, was when he talked about his favorite TV shows.
“I don’t know if you like British TV but that’s pretty much all I watch and now I’ve got this Acorn which is ALL British TV and if you look real close at the appliances in the background in all these shows, you’ll notice, YUP. Beko.”
I handed him my credit card.